Same square, different colour.

As far back as I can remember, my Mom crocheted. She would crochet for hours at a time and she was remarkably fast, churning out whole afghans in just a few days. As quick as she was at crocheting, I was always amazed how quickly the work could be undone. Mom would sometimes have to go back to a certain point if she had made a mistake, so one pull and all of her hard work was gone, just like that. 

My Mom always makes afghans by first crocheting the individual granny squares and then sewing the squares all together before crocheting a thick border around the whole thing. 

I'm beginning to see parenting like crocheting an afghan and apparently I've been working on the same few granny squares for three years now. Sometimes I work on one single square for months at a time. I'll get to a point where I think I'm almost finished the square and then suddenly I have to pull out most of the work and start again.

Other times I'll put a seemingly finished square aside only to pull it out months later, noticing something's amiss and going back to work on it again.

And now I'm thinking intently about the process of making the afghan more than focusing on the finished product. I'm beginning to realize it will never truly be finished; I may someday get to the point where I sew all the squares together, but I doubt I will ever even start on the border.

Because as painstaking as it has been to crochet these few granny squares, I know that it can all unravel so quickly if I just pull the yarn. And some days I pull a lot of yarn before I realize how much of my own time I've wasted. Sometimes I just feel like pulling the yarn, you know? But it's comforting to know that I can always pick up the crochet hook and start over. ...and maybe this time I'll use a better colour.

We spend a lot of our time working toward goals and taking pride in completing tasks. If parenting is like crocheting an afghan, I hope this is a project I'll never quite finish; I would hate to think that I was ever finished learning, since I've learned so much already in this process and I've only just started. 

The last thing I'd want is to pass on a finished, yet poorly-made afghan to my kids when they are ready to become parents. I'd rather pass on all the hard work I've done over the years and let them build on it, rather than have them toss the afghan into the nearest closet to forget about. This is one family heirloom that should be worked on and added to and passed on again and again.

Besides, even if an afghan is only half finished, it can still keep your toes warm on a cold evening. A poorly-made afghan is just a blanket full of holes.

Well, even a well-made afghan is a blanket full of holes, but you get my meaning.