Pictures in her mind.

Sonja's birthday is the 21st of February and she has made it very clear that she wants a rocking horse. We are having her birthday party this Sunday (the 13th) and Peter is calling every toy store in town, trying to find the rocking horse we want to buy her. But there is a question hovering in the back of my mind: Is the rocking horse we want the rocking horse Sonja wants? 


As a kid, I had one of those rocking horses that was attached to a metal frame with springs. It was great, because not only could you rock it back and forth, you could also bounce up and down. It made a horrible metallic squeaking sound when I rode it and the springs were actually kinda dangerous; my delicate skin got pinched in those springs several times. But I loved it fiercely and I remember being pretty sad when my Mom told me I had to give it away to a smaller child because I'd outgrown it. Sure, I didn't really ride it anymore, but that didn't mean I wanted to give it away. I wasn't upset with my Mom, I knew she was right, but it was sad and hard for me to see it go. 

I never had a different rocking horse, and I don't recall ever wanting something other than the rocking horse I had, but Sonja is in a different situation. She has had occasion to sit on a couple different rocking horses in her young life and I find myself wondering what she pictures in her mind when she tells us she wants a rocking horse for her birthday. I know she will likely love the wooden, stylish horse we are wanting to buy her, but is she picturing and hoping for the plush, fuzzy horse she fell in love with back in November?


Since Sonja was born, we've just given her toys and clothes and she has been happy with pretty much everything. But I've been noticing a shift in the last few months, one where Sonja's opinions and aesthetic tastes are becoming less fleeting and more concrete; more a part of her burgeoning personality. I feel as though we're standing on a threshold, one where Sonja's babyhood lies behind us and her childhood stretches ahead. 


I have a feeling we'd better hold on tight...