Sleep away.

I came downstairs in the night to comfort Haven and Sonja's door was open, her nightlight shining into the house. I think I had a bit of a fever. It was so odd seeing her empty room and although the light is normally warm and comforting, last night it was anything but. Haven's cry spurred me back to moment, but the feeling wouldn't leave me: it's just not right having her gone.

I put Haven to bed at around 6.45pm. I simply could not stay up any later, I was completely drained from the nausea and the body aches that had plagued me the entire day. I looked at my watch as I crawled under the covers: 7.15pm. I realized that if Sonja had been home, her regular bedtime was still forty-five to sixty minutes away. I don't know what I would have done if I'd had to stay up that late, but it was still an unnerving feeling when I realized she wasn't in her bed last night.

OK, now that I've gotten that out of the way, let me say how much I adore and am indebted to my lovely in-laws. Because not only did they give me the chance to go to bed early, they also provided Sonja with a really fun day. She definitely wouldn't have had as much fun at home yesterday, I could barely stay standing for more than a few minutes. And I'm not going to lie: there were a few times yesterday when I wished they could have taken Haven as well, because then I could have slept. ...but then one look at Haven's pale, sad little face wiped that all away. I had to keep it together for her.

So the bright side of being ill was that Sonja had her first sleep away from home and by all accounts it went pretty well. I think its success hinged on the fact that it was spontaneous. Had it been planned, she may have had more of a chance to think about it and find issue with the idea. She's an independent girl, but she's also pretty darned sensitive. An unplanned event gives her less time to think about things like missing Mom and Dad and Haven and Jett. She was extremely excited to see her sister today, I can tell you that.

But not nearly as excited as I was to see her. My Baby.