Destroy the pyramid.

I adore Sonja's preschool teacher. Her name is Tara and she's just very chill and down-to-earth and I love that she talks the same way to the kids as she does to the parents; she doesn't condescend or dumb down, she speaks the same way to everyone.


Sometimes when I drop Sonja off for school, we've already had a long morning filled with tantrums and tears (and it's not just Sonja and I'm not talking about Haven). Tara is good at picking up on this, but never pries. She always makes a point of telling me if Sonja's been uncharacteristically withdrawn or even if she was especially bubbly that day and I've always appreciated knowing that even when Sonja and I aren't getting along, she still has great days at school and never has behavioural issues. It tells me that she's just a normal kid who pushes her boundaries with her parents. 


Yesterday Tara took a minute to talk with me and I got the feeling that she sensed I needed something to buoy my spirits. She was right; Sonja and I had another rough morning and to say I was disheartened would have been putting it mildly. I told her a little of what had happened and Tara asked me the date of Sonja's birthday. I told her that it's in February and she just nodded her head and smiled. She then told me that in her ten years of nannying before she became a preschool teacher, she had always noticed that kids' periods of unpleasant behaviour seemed to happen almost cyclically; roughly every six months, or near a birthday and a half-birthday. She happened upon an article in a magazine that theorized that when kids are approaching a development spurt, they go through a period of disintegration. Some people refer to it as regression, but in this case disintegration is better suited.

Imagine a pyramid of building blocks that symbolizes your child's development; physical, mental and reasoning skills, for example. Your child is reaching a point in their development where they are ready to add another block to the pyramid. You would think they would simply add the block on top, but instead they must completely destroy the pyramid and re-build it and then place that block on top. In this way they re-learn and remember all the skills they needed to reach this new milestone in their development.

Tara has held onto this theory throughout all her years working with children because she says it reminds her that when a child's behaviour deteriorates, it's a signal to be on the lookout for a spurt in that child's development. It allows her to take a breath and re-focus on patience. Brilliant. She says she has no idea if this idea holds any water but it has helped her many times to handle tough situations and hold onto some perspective.

I also have no idea if this theory is realistic, but it was definitely what I needed to hear and it's given me something to think about and expand on in my mind; it's reminded me that Sonja is constantly learning and evolving and it makes sense that at some point she needs to process everything. And it makes so much sense to me that her behaviour will suffer at any time where she is processing and developing; rebuilding her pyramid in order to add to it.


Totally hit the jackpot on preschool teachers. Big time.