"And then I says to the guy, 'Back off, alright? There ain't no sign sayin' I can't smoke here, so mind yer own business, Buddy!'" The guy sitting next to him snorted in laughter and continued chewing his gum. He adjusted his baseball cap and asked, "Then what'd he do?"
Jill tried to tune them out. The bus wasn't overcrowded today, so she wondered why this guy had to talk so loudly. Only five more stops. She thought instead about the pasta she was going to make for supper and hoped that Dustin would eat it without putting up a fuss. She thought about her job and how she desperately wanted to be chosen for the new position opening up next month. The promotion would mean she could afford to send Dustin to the preschool she really liked, rather than the one she had to settle for.
"Mama," Dustin whispered and tugged on her sleeve while twisting to look up at her face. "What's that man talking about?" She had to re-focus her attention on Mr. Blabbermouth across the aisle. She knew that if two women were sitting in those seats, Dustin would have paid no attention. He was always curious about what men were doing and she was painfully reminded of this obvious lack of male presence in his life.
"...so she pulls up the chair next to me and sits down, right?" He brought his hands up in front of his chest, fingers spread, palms facing inward. "And her shirt is like, barely covering her huge-"
Jill covered Dustin's ears with her hands and turned his head toward the window. When the two guys erupted into laughter, she removed her hands and kissed the top of Dustin's head. Three years old was too young to start asking what a "rack" was. "They're just talking about a friend, Honey." Lame. But she was too tired to think of a better explanation. "Hey, isn't that Matthew's house up ahead?" She knew it was, but she also knew that Dustin loved pointing out his friends' houses during their bus trips. It provided a few blessed moments of distraction. Once they had passed Matthew's house it was time to gather up their things and get ready to get off the bus. She pulled the cord to ring the bell, moved Dustin onto the empty seat and picked up the grocery bag.
"So this guy is totally tryin' to move in on this chick, right? The chick I've already bought four drinks for, the one I've been workin' on all night! Not cool, man." He shook his head. "Like I'm gonna spend all that money just so you can get some tonight? I don't think so!" His friend nodded and said something that Jill couldn't hear. She noticed that Dustin was listening intently to their conversation once again. Great.
"And I'm thinking, good luck, Buddy! Seriously you got a better chance of smellin' a fart in the wind, man." He laughed loudly and his friend snorted again. Jill was starting down the aisle toward the rear exit of the bus, with Dustin following behind. Or so she thought. The bus had stopped and was waiting for them get off. She was shocked when she heard Dustin's little voice ask, "Mister?"
"Yeah, kid?" Jill turned around to tell Dustin to just come along. The bus was silent; it seemed that everyone wanted to hear what Dustin was going to ask. Jill opened her mouth to call her son, when he said, "Why would you want to smell a fart?" His big blue eyes were unblinkingly earnest.
Blabbermouth's friend let out a snorting guffaw and Jill heard snickers and giggles coming from all over the bus. She was stifling her own laugh, but couldn't keep from smiling as she gently took Dustin's arm to lead him to the exit. The guy looked embarrassed, but was a good enough sport that he reached out and tousled Dustin's hair before he was out of reach. "I guess it's just an expression, kid," he said quietly.
"Thanks, folks, have a great night!" called the bus driver as Jill and Dustin exited the bus. Jill looked up and called "Thanks, you too!" and as she did, she caught the driver's eye in the rear-view mirror. She rode that bus five times a week and had never before seen such a smile on the driver's face.
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