Hold 'em close.

I love you and I'm proud of you both

In so many different ways.

Always remember there was nothing worth sharing 

Like the love that let us share our name.

These are lyrics from a song by the Avett Brothers, a song that has been in and out of my head for months. And as much as it always makes me think of my brothers, I can't look at my own kids without the these particular lines resonating in my heart and mind.

Hold 'em close, people. Be present. Life is now.

Start/stop.

I love my blog. I do. There have been several times in the last month-and-a-half where I've thought, "I need to write about this." ...but then I don't.

I've had a difficult time organizing my thoughts. I've been even more scattered than usual. I've often been thankful for my family for giving me a routine and a sense of purpose, even though I sometimes feel constrained by it. I was thankful for Christmas for giving me an end goal, but at the same time, Christmas was a bit strange. 

It's been a very odd few months since my Mom died; she lived so far away that I didn't miss her from my daily life, but I could no longer just pick up my phone and call her. And I've had the urge to call her all the time. So it's been a lot of start/stop in my head; I'll wonder about something or have a question and think, "I'll call Mom," and feel comforted by the thought that she'll have the answer, only to realize that she won't be there to pick up the phone. 

And so my family is my focus and my all-important foreground. They are right in front of me and as much as there are days when feel like I could easily stay in bed and hide, my family reminds me that life is now. The sadness can come along, but  life is now. I certainly don't think my Mom would want me to miss out on any of it.

Refreshment.

Remember lunch counters in department stores? Not a lot of people do; most feel they're showing their age if they say yes. And I'm not talking about department-store cafes. I'm talking about a simple counter at the back of a store selling diner fare; burgers and fries, homemade cakes, and plenty of coffee. 

I grew up in White Rock, BC and when I was around four or five, I remember a small department store called Robinson's. They had a lunch counter and I remember my Mom taking me there quite a few times. I recall sitting on the round, chrome and red-vinyl twisty stools and spinning myself in circles as fast as I could until my Mom asked me to stop before I made myself sick. I always ordered a glass of milk and I always used my straw to blow lots of bubbles in that milk, twisting from side to side on the stool the whole time. It's a fond memory.

We don't have those same department-style lunch counters anymore, but it seems Victoria has a coffee shop on every block. Habit (in Chinatown) is a great spot and with its wide-open feel, it's a great place to take small kids for a quick refreshment. And they make kids 'hot' chocolate at the perfect, drink-through-a-straw temperature.

I'm fairly sure my Mom must have dosed up on coffee while I blew a million bubbles in my milk. I know an afternoon outing with my kids demands I do the same. Bottoms up.

Leaf pile.

A cold, sunny day in November is a perfect day for meeting up with friends in the park and jumping in the leaves. 

Very thankful for great friends, sunny days and pink noses. Cold hands ...not so much. Can't have everything.

Sonja and Stella.

Georgia.

Georgia and Christina.

Haven was initially unwilling to jump in the leaves. Thank goodness that didn't last.

One peacock of many. Like, about ten.

Running leaps into the pile.

Ready... set...

JUMP!

BIG leaf!

LIttle monkey.